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TOP FIVE: Bizarre Combat Sports

We invest a lot of time and effort at Fightstore Pro providing you with serious commentary and advice around picking your combat sports products, so this week we thought we’d take it down a few notches with a countdown of the world’s top 5 most bizarre combat sports. From face slapping to team MMA (nasty stuff!), there were no shortage of contenders for our top list, but after some debate we settled on our favourite five. And here they are:
SHOCK FIGHTS Up first, a spectacularly ludicrous affair requiring minimal brain power and a death wish. Take a standard boxing ring, add two nutters with 3,000,000 volt tasers strapped to each hand and cheer them on whilst they electrocute each other. Whilst the bouts (see video below) suggest some reference to established fight techniques, any focus on combat prowess quickly diverts to the crackling bolts emanating from each fighters’ fists. There are no rules worth mentioning and the winner is declared via submission or, of course, Shock Out. As far as we can deduce, the sport – and we call it that loosely – is now banned across the entire civilized world. Why would that be, I wonder? DANGER RATING – 5/5
X-ARM OK, so in theory this is a simple combination of arm wrestling and MMA. In practice, it’s a messy swing-fest with bouts usually lasting only a matter of seconds; such is the confrontational, close-quarters nature of the combat. Hands are bound together across a table and contestants are chained at the waist to said table, before they assume a standard arm wrestling face-off. But once the ref’s hand drops it’s a wild, no-holds barred scrap; legs, knees, feet, heads and fists flying in all directions. Let’s be honest, this is no arm wrestle! Actually, it’s a truly brutal encounter – as the video below demonstrates (witness the table-based arm bar at around 50 seconds in) and seemingly attracts only thuggish meatheads. Apologies if you’re one of them. DANGER RATING – 4/5
CHESSBOXING A well-documented sport but one that we couldn’t omit, perhaps this is where the term Gentleman’s Sport best applies where boxing is concerned. Inspired by a French comic book, the sport was brought to life in 2003 by a Dutch performance artist. Each fight consists of eleven three-minute rounds – six of chess, five of boxing – with the fight alternating between the two. Just imagine it - playing a game of chess betwixt getting your head pummelled. Nuts and no surprise it came from the pages of a comic book. DANGER RATING: 3/5
CARDBOARD TUBE FIGHTING Our personal favourite, if only for the fantastic Samurai Warrior-inspired cardboard outfit shown at the top of this blog. Just don’t wear it in a downpour! A global organisation – Cardboard Tube Fighting League (CTFL), the showdowns are more about theatrics, but there is a fight element ... if you can call hitting people with cardboard tubes in the style of a four-year old kid fighting. The swings, at least, are true enough! One-on-one or a fully-fledged, multi-person battle field, CTFL does what it says on the tin, with people hitting each other with cardboard tubes. Not toilet roll tubes mind; more like reinforced wrapping paper tubes. The aim of the game is to break your opponent’s tube, before they break yours. Timeless fun! DANGER RATING: 0
SHIN KICKING Set in the genteel rolling countryside of the Cotswolds, the sport of shin kicking has roots dating back to the early 1600s. Indeed, it’s the centrepiece of the region’s Cotswold Olimpicks. That’s not a typo; just their clever play on the use of Olympics. Rules are pretty simple here: stuff as much straw as possible down your trouser legs and get to work kicking your opponent’s shins as hard as possible. Whilst Judo-type throws are not allowed, seriously hard kicking is encouraged and the winner is the contestant who kicks their opponent to the ground first. Let’s not dismiss this as a sissy game played and watched by London city folk with second / third / fourth homes in the Cotswold countryside; taking a bone-on-bone blow to the shin is no laughing matter. DANGER RATING – 2/5

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